SO LONG 2008!! BRING ON 2009!!!

I can't believe tomorrow is a new year. It seems that 2008 was a rocky, crazy, bittersweet year.

There were ups and downs (more downs than ups unfortunately) but each slide down just made me stronger, more determined, and more sure of myself.

2008 brought so many changes to Princess Ivi as well. She matured and grew (almost as tall as me). She learned of heartbreak when the neighbor broke her heart. She made strong friendships which will last for many years. She created beautiful art and wrote songs that can break your heart.

I can't wait to see what 2009 brings for Princess Ivi and myself. I am sure there will be ups and downs (hopefully more ups than downs) but I am sure we will learn a lesson from the downs and use the lesson to make our lives fuller.

I hope I continue to grow (spiritually and emotionally) in 2009. I hope I learn to see more beauty in everyday life. I hope I continue to challenge myself and I hope that I am the mother, person, woman God wants me to be.

I hope that Princess Ivi continues to grow more and more into the woman she is meant to be and I hope that whatever 2009 brings, she continues to weather the ride as admirably as she has so far.

And to all of you, I hope that 2009 brings wonder, joy, happiness and peace to you and your family.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!

Indifference

I just found out that an estranged family member is dying.

I feel like I am supposed to feel something but I don't. I don't feel sad, angry, upset, nothing. Is that normal?

It isn't as if this person was a fleeting butterfly in my life. She was there for years and years connected to me by blood but with one vile act and several disgusting words, walked away without looking back. And now, when I learn of her fragile health, I can't feel anything.

Should I feel like a monser? Is this something that needs researching or is it something that I should accept? Do I want to feel anything when I think of her and her imminent death? Do I want to feel loss, sadness, regret or am I content to accept that she never changed, never apologized, never missed us?

I am content. In this situation, I am not the monster. The monster resides deep in her soul and it is not up to me to hunt it out.

I am so bad at titles

I hate it when things don’t turn out as expected. But I have long since learned to persevere.

I also seriously dislike it when someone signs up for something with no follow through. Then as the organizer of said event, I am harangued by upset people as if I have any control over the situation myself. Oh well. I can only do what I can do and I have already done all that. But enough about that....

Yesterday, I received some interesting news from the senior partner here. According to him, we are required to bill two (2) hours per day. This is a difficult task in that we don’t have a lot of cases that actually have work to be done. But I will do my best. One worry is that the senior partner also had a talk with my boss and informed him that he was not billing enough. I have been concerned that this would happen and the powers that be would decide that there was not enough revenue to support an additional paralegal (me). So to be on the safe side, I have started perusing the job postings for the area and will polish up my resume to send out to anything promising.

I love my sister. She is amazing. She always has the best ideas for being thrifty. Plus she has great cooking skills.

Well, she has offered to mail her computer (tower, keyboard, speakers, etc.) to us so we can have a home computer. All we would need to do is buy a monitor although if it costs less to ship the monitor than it will to buy a new one than we will go that way. I am looking forward to being able to email her from home when I think of something to tell her instead of trying to make a list and remember to mention it when I email from work. I always seem to forget something.

Back to Business....

My Christmas was wonderful. I hope everyone else’s was good as well.

On Christmas Eve, I got home from work and my brother Dan and his three kids were there. We opened presents with them and had chili for dinner. Yum.

My niece Emily picked out a very nice knitting book for me and did a great job wrapping it. The label said “To: Aunt Lennie From: The Family”. She cracks me up.

After they went home, we talked to my sister (in Massachusetts) while they opened their Christmas gifts. It was great to hear my nephew “singing” in the background. He really enjoyed his gifts including the Florida Gators t-shirt I found for him. My sister loved the lemur and the movie. And of course, Rob loved his pistachios and his book. My mom bought my sister a Go Phone so we can all talk to each other for free which is always a good thing.

Then, Princess Ivi and I watched movies (although I can’t remember which ones) while Mom finished wrapping her presents.

We woke up early Christmas morning and opened our stockings (mine was filled with nail polish, cotton balls, remover, nail files, etc.) and then said “what the heck” and opened our gifts. Princess Ivi gave me new pjs, the winter edition of Interweave Knits and Creative Knitting, and a new hairbrush. Mom gave me a pen set and handmade stitch holders (which were beautiful). I also got a new tote bag filled with yarn, lotion, a spa set, and body wash from Pat and Barry. The bag is now my new “bring to work bag to collect all the junk I accumulate throughout the day”.

Princess Ivi liked her keyboard and her Ipod but she really loved The Nightmare Before Christmas. We watched it Christmas afternoon. We have decided that when we find the dog to add to our family, he (or she) will be named Zero in honor of Jack’s trusty pooch.

Later that day, Dan came down to deliver the lawnmower and his plants (weeds, dying plants, etc.) and had dinner with us. Mom made a pork roast with roasted potatoes and broccoli. It was good.

I took advantage of the beautiful weather and did lots of laundry (all weekend actually because it was perfect line drying weather).

We also went to a new bookstore in Palatka and I bought Persuasion, Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility and Lady Susan all by Jane Austen and The Seven Wonders of Sassafrass Springs. I also bought my nephew some books and Princess Ivi got two books.

I splurged on myself and Princess Ivi this weekend as well. I bought myself two shirts for work and a pair of pajamas. I bought Princess Ivi a new purse. I also purchased Speed, The Replacements, The Da Vinci Code, Stardust, and Stand By Me to add to our DVD collection.

Then we watched movies and I knit.

I am working on the Cranberry Biscotti socks. They are coming along. I have turned the heel on the first sock and will start on the gusset tonight.

I also have a scarf in the works for Pat with the wonderful yarn she bought for me. It started out as a basket weave scarf but I am bored with the pattern already so I thought I would do stockinette stitch and do the same length of basket weave on the other end.

Oh, I almost forgot. I found a wonderful magazine. It is called Life: Beautiful. It is a faith based magazine with no advertisements. There are great articles and wonderful quotes from the Bible. I love it and I am going to subscribe to it. It is $18.95 for 4 issues but with no advertisements and such wonderful articles, I think it is definitely worth it. I think it will add to my walk with Christ.

I just realized today though that I did not take any pictures of Christmas. I think I am not inspired to take pictures because my camera is broken. I can’t see the pictures in the little digital screen after I take them. It really stinks. Sears has a sale on a great Canon camera. It is $179 and I am trying to decide if I should get it or not. I am worried that if I buy it now, I will need the money for something else but I am worried that if I don’t get it now, I won’t find such a good deal. Hmmm.....decisions, decisions.

Merry Christmas

I wanted to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas! I hope today is wonderful for you and your family.